Things I Learned While Being Sick

 

Natalie Dee knows what's up.

Things I've learned from being sick...

Corvus is the best nurse, ever. He is gentle, and kind, and very watchful.

Ditto doesn't give a shit. You will PLAY WITH HER, or you will get NO rest. 

If you don't eat your soup right away, and instead, you sit it on the coffee table and fall back to sleep, it will NOT still be there when you wake up. And someone (read: someone whose name rhymes with SHIT NO) will have a soup ring around their muzzle from where they stuck their chubby little snout down into your bowl but got said chubby little snout STUCK. 

You will have to hide from Ditto to blow your nose. If you don't, she will bark and raise hell at you while you blow your nose because while it may mean one thing to you, it is clearly the opening anthem of PLAYMAGEDDON 2014 to her.

Vick's Vapo Rub is kryptonite to Corvus. He won't even look in it's direction. You will have to hide it from Ditto, because she is a pit bull...and thinks that all non-edibles are delicious. 

When you fall asleep with your mouth open because your nose is too stuffed up to breathe through, you will be violated. You will wake up to the knowledge that at least one of the dogs now knows what your tonsils taste like. You will try to gargle enough salt water to get the knowledge that someone has licked your tonsils out of your head, but it will not work.  

You will be tempted to rent a hotel room next time you are sick.